My husband and I have been together for more than eight years. One of the most important things to us is to have a “date night”. The importance of this when you live together, or have been married for years, and when you have children is to have specific time dedicated to each other. In a world where both parties in a couple work, it’s important to create time to play.

At the moment we are so busy, and our schedules conflict, we only have Friday mid-day to spend with each other. So in our case at the moment it’s not even at night it’s a date day. The benefits are numerous. I know that by Tuesday night, or Wednesday morning, I start to get excited for Friday. Every couple really needs to be in communication about what constitutes a date, and what your needs are in this aspect. Cap and I generally have a meal, go to a movie, and have sex.

It has taken years to distinguish what we each need to consider to be a “date.” For me it’s important to have a meal together, and preferably out. He is a little more flexible; he just wants it to be quality time spent together. I also feel that it’s important to get dressed up, put on make up and look fabulous, so we have agreed to have a fancy date about once a month. I put on a dress, and he puts on dress pants, it takes it up a notch. Trust me, there are those occasions, when we just want to chill out and vegg on the couch, and we do that too. So we discuss it, and call it a date if that’s what we both need.

The other thing that we find to be an important aspect of the “date’ is the sex. As a married couple with a toddler, it’s not always easy to squeeze in the sex during the rest of the week. Knowing that it’s Friday, and I’m going to have sex today, always makes it a good day. I know when I take my shower, it’s important to shave, and primp appropriately.

Now I know a lot of women want romance, and spontaneity, maybe you get that on date night, maybe on another night. For us, we find that we are of the belief, ”why not have desert first” or in our case, sex before dinner and a movie. We have come to the conclusion that getting up early with Mackenzie, and late nights for him, sex before dinner works well, it’s usually during her late afternoon nap. Think about it, how often have you gone to dinner and stuffed yourself, and then a movie, and the energy you have left is for a food coma, and then the sex gets pushed until tomorrow. The way we do it, works for us – you need to figure out what works best for you, even if it’s not the norm. I love our dessert first attitude, and sometimes we have apple pie for breakfast!